Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize