so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
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Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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