You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
tell me about the eggs
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
