i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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