Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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