Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize