it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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