i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
