Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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