how can u be prego again
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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