in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
