saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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