That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize