so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
