Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize