If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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