I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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