I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
