Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
