Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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