There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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