My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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