i think my mom watched the whole time
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Less talking, more tequila
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
