and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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