I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
