babies were throwing up all over the place
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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