I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
