im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
