Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize