I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
