Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
