I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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