You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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