Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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