in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
