Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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