i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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