Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He has the fingertips of a God
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