So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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