we're blogging at a bar
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize