Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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