Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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