respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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