Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
His nipple licking is glorious
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