my soul wont recognize me after tonight
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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