Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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