I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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