Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
