where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
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Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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