I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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