Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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