you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
