Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize