After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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