I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
