is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
