the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
