I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Is Oprah even human
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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