Dual....:-)
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize
